When you imagine the sequence a lingerie waitress’s life might follow, I’m sure most of you might expect that she would get into this line of work young and naive and then, after a few years of growing up, settle down and get a “real” job. For me though, my life has been the exact opposite.
Fresh faced and straight out of high school, I got my first full-time job as a pharmacy assistant. Fast forward thirteen years; I’d not long turned thirty, and as my sister so accurately pointed out, I was going through an early mid-life crisis. I was desperate for the next chapter of my life (in more ways than one) and so I quit my job at the pharmacy and begun my complete 180 as a lingerie waitress with Sex Bomb………and boy do I LOVE it!
I love the patrons (most of them).
I love the girls (all of them).
I love the sexy lingerie, the killer high heels, the hair, the makeup, the photo shoots, the compliments, the attention, and of course the money doesn’t hurt.
But most of all I love the confidence the job has given me to just be myself and the freedom to actually live my life. Now I live to work rather than work to live.
Another perk of being a lingerie waitress is the plethora of funny stories I now have to keep myself and my friends entertained with. Like the time I performed a lap-dance for the buck in a walk-in-wardrobe with ten of his guests squished in there with us, watching. It’s a wonder I didn’t trip over anybody or step on anyone’s fingers in my heels while I was “dancing” around. They were so impressed all the guests even made an arch with their arms for me to run through as I left for the night while they cheered for me!
On the topic of lap-dances, there was one time where I did a headstand in the recipients lap and as I came out of it and flicked my head up… I cracked the bloke square in the nose. It’s a wonder it didn’t bleed! The poor bloke had already paid though, so as much pain as he was in, he insisted on continuing.
Or the time I had a bloke ask me to pee in a cup so he could drink it! All I could think of was how I’d barely drunk any water that day, haha! I got out of it by insisting I wouldn’t know what to charge.
Another amusing one was when I wore my undies back-to-front for an entire shift. I do suspect that maybe a patron or two may have noticed but they definitely weren’t going to say anything.
I even worked a bucks party one time with my pole dancing instructor (who, might I add, is just about the sexiest woman alive) in which we ended up performing an impromptu pole/nude strip show together and finished it off by massaging each other with oil, naked! That definitely took our friendship to a whole new level! Anyway I digress, back to my life being turned upside down… twice. Fast forward again nine months.
So this whole Corona shit-show now hits, and I’m right back where I started: at the pharmacy. Every day I put those baggy slacks, that dowdy blouse and comfy sketchers on I have to remind myself that I’m one of the lucky ones.
It’s not all frump though… as a little pick-me-up and to reassure me that this life relapse will all be over soon enough, I always wear something sexy from my lingerie waitressing days underneath my daggy pharmacy uniform!
– written by Sex Bomb Elle